Congratulations to Whitney Houston for being sober for 10 days.– Alec Smith
I want to get a soda, but my mini-fridge is shorter than my indoor hammock.– (Submitted by Tia)
macaroni salad the rain THE SUNSHINE Monica getting paid to write this payday beer so on and so forth
she's right...they do
raisedwithreligion: all my stories suck.
Valentine’s day is bullshit. Our DNA demands we fuck each other, so if you need...– (via shitmydadsays) Shit my dad says