rileybby:

what if every spider i’ve ever crushed thought it was like, living in my house with me the whole time and one day i just flew off the handle and murdered it. like it just thought we were hanging out together.

has every spider died while feeling a sense of betrayal.

ok so i could just be high guyys BUT…^^ lollolololol

Relationships are just like beer.
Everyone wants a good one, but most the time we settle for Coors Light.

thefrogman:

Monkey see…

[video]

i want both the cat and the human

wackom:

Inspirational words.

tastefullyoffensive:

[via]

This is for k Beals.

real life

wow, i guess science can’t even stop you from getting crAzy old

There must be something about me that attracts the gay men.
Like “I can’t find a man, so Demi will have to do”
The worst part is that I fall in love with them, then they remember I have a vagina and I expect to use it. Then they are gone.
So why can’t I find a nice thin dark haired straight man that I find funny, and more importantly he finds me funny. Someone who is successful (rich) and smart(able to do my math for me) supportive(not an ass hole) preferably taller than me in heels.
But most importantly above it all, someone who wants to sleep with me Because I have boobs and a vagina.

I don’t think I’m asking that much.

tastefullyoffensive:

[robintl]

Except I think both rons are A OK